The Power of Gratitude

Too often we measure ourselves by the good things that have happened in our lives, or by the goodness in the lives of others for which we take credit.  Too seldom we pause and really embrace that every event that affects us, happens to us, takes place near us in the result of the confluence of countless micro happenings, numerous factors and many phenomena which we can neither see, touch taste. smell or appreciate.  Instead we inflate ourselves with undue credit for the good and/or focus on  the bad as a measuring stick of where and who we are.  Today is time to change how we see ourselves, our lives and the world around us.

The most powerful human phenomenon in the world is love.  A close second is gratitude.  Being grateful for what we have and our attending circumstances seems far from second nature.  Instead we assume and presume that things are good for us or bad for us because thats just the way things were supposed to be.  The truth is that we have the power over our circumstances and thus, our lives.  We control what we do.  We control how we react to what others do to us.  We control our approach to the future.  It starts with being grateful.  We must remind ourselves of the everyday joys that surround us.  We must make note of how much worse things could be with just a small twist of circumstances.  We must continually replay in our heads the fact that the opportunity to take another breath, another step and open our eyes are the seeds for positive change.  With this recognition comes gratitude.  Being thankful for our lives, the loved ones around us and even our enemies is the foundation for growth.  Gratitude is the vessel through which more good travels to us.  Gratitude allows us to embrace ourselves in the richness of the present.  Gratitude makes your tastebuds appreciate the sweet in your favorite food.  Gratitude makes a warm smile and a firm embrace or hug last forever.  Gratitude puts pep in your step.  Gratitude makes the music play in your head long after the radio has gone off.  Gratitude makes the waking hours feel as new as they really are.  Gratitude is the opportunity for each of us to get the best out of all we have.  Like it or not, there is no other moment than the present.  We can change the past and cannot guarantee the future.  All we can do is live in the present and rejoice it, cherish it and be grateful.  Then life is truly good

Fools or Realists in a Dominican Paradigm

The Essence article described Black men flocking to the DR for cheap sex and the illusion of feeling like a man. The article quoted men who informed Black women that they need to learn from the Dominican sistas as to how to treat a man like a man. The flip side reflected a stringent reminder that the men are consorting with prostitiutes whose aim is to separated them from their ten and twenty dollar bills in exchange for fantasy sex and the pretend royal treatment. Many brothas who have resorted to DR junkets say that the exchange and expectation of DR sistas and US sistas is the same: the man has to pay if he plans on getting what he wants. US sistas find this simplistic analysis appalling and insulting. "The brothas treat us like two bit whores which illuminates the problems," one US sista frustratedly explained. "What Black women want is a relationship and a relationship involves a certain amount of wining and dining. The man traditionally bears the brunt of that cost, but what we want is commitment, not just flash and finance," she explained. The brothas disagree.

"Whether you spend the money here with the US sista, or in the DR with those sistas, it's all leading to sex. These sistas know it and need to just be honest." The brotha was frustrated. Is the disconnect fatal to Black Love? Who needs a reality check? Candor is the only kindness.

Letting Go

"As he held my neck with both of his strong hands and was trying to choke my life away, I calmed myself and told my ex-husband, 'It's time to just let go.' His face lost its fury and his hands lost their grip. The hate and bloodthirst in his eyes were immediately replaced with tears and shame. Then he just let go."

The most deadly and elusive parasites known to mankind are those that we can't see and which eat us from the inside out. The third leg to this trilogy of harmful parasitic characteristics is that these monsters are created by and within our own minds. Hate, jealousy, cynicism and other poisonous cousins are created by us, nurtured by us, fed by us and acted on by us. While the better part of valor and the belly of good sense scream that we should just let go, we tighten our grip on our tormentors as if our own blood supply is dependent upon the survival of these self-destructive mental concoctions. A wise woman once said, "As we navigate life's sometimes choppy waters, we cannot control the direction or strength of the of the magnificent wind, we can only control the position of our sails." The challenge of our lives is whether we have the courage to let go and whether we love ourselves enough to let go of the things that are simply not good for us.

Death is Overrated

The transition from life to the afterlife to be an amazing phenomenon. We go from self-important, egocentric, death fearing life clingers to pure spirit. Death itself is shorter than a millisecond. Yet it holds many of us hostage from really enjoying our lives. The fact is that although we were real and meaningful in life, death converts us to a mere memory...a small place in the hearts of a few.